You get to decide what stays

Have you ever had a favorite pair of shoes that started to wear out?

I had a pair of sandals I loved for three years. They were slip-on wedges with a beautiful cream fabric and the perfect comfort for my feet. This summer, one of the straps broke. I didn’t want to let them go, so I took them to a cobbler. I was so excited to have them repaired and wearable again.

Then last week, the entire shoe separated from the wedge sole while I was walking. I almost fell when it happened.

I threw them away—reluctantly. They were my favorite shoes.

A close friend of mine didn’t understand why I repaired them in the first place, and also didn’t understand why it was hard for me to throw them away.

But here’s the thing:

Not everyone will understand your journey, your values, or the things you choose to hold onto.

The things you cherish are yours to love.

The way you handle loss and letting go is yours to experience.

Even the people closest to you may not fully understand the weight something carries in your life—because it’s not their weight to carry.

We all hold onto things that matter to us in ways that may not make sense to others.

The same is true for who you are becoming.

You get to choose the characteristics of your identity. You get to decide what stays and what no longer fits. Other people may recognize parts of you, interpret you through their own experiences, or see things you never intended to project.

But the only person who truly defines your identity is you.

As you continue to grow and design your life, it’s important to see yourself clearly—and to choose what aligns with who you want to be.

You can keep what feels right.

You can release what doesn’t.

And just like those shoes, you don’t have to let go until you’re ready.